Wilbur Wu

Staff Writer

           For the longest time, man and birds have abided peacefully on earth. Man would seek other animals for meals and birds wouldn’t meddle in man’s life. Everyone knew however, that this harmony between these two species could not last forever and if this harmony could be eternal, the rest of the world was prepared to wreck it. Many animals attempted to rupture their relationship, but one after another, the animals’ plans would end in utter failure.

           So after many years of trying and failing, a very cunning snake devised a strategy to ruin the special bond between man and birds. This scheme required an audacious soul to enter an Indian’s teepee and tell him the recipe to create a new drink. This beverage would later become to what is now known as beer. But because this scheme sounded extremely dangerous to the rest of the animals, the snake, which thought of the plan, had to carry out his plan alone. And so the snake set out on his journey to seek an Indian, who he could tell the recipe of beer to.

           Traveling for several days, the snake finally reached an Indian tribe. As the snake watched from the hills, he searched for an Indian who he could tell his recipe to. When the snake spotted one, he awaited for nightfall, when everyone in the tribe was fast asleep, to strike. Slowly, the snake slithered towards the Indian and whispered the recipe to him. Then the snake slithered away back to his habitat where he originally resided.

           When the Indian awoke, he thought he had had a vision from the gods and was chosen to make this drink. So he set out to find the ingredients and started mixing the items together. Soon the drink was complete and he tasted the drink. At first the drink didn’t seem harmful, but that all changed when the Indian became drunk and had a hangover. The Indian realized the next sunrise that this drink would bring pain to the world and so he kept this recipe a secret. However, the Indian did not realize that there were other Indians snooping outside his teepee who have seen his recipe and so the recipe of beer rapidly spread to distant lands and eventually reached where the snake resided. The snake knew now that his plan was working.

           Unfortunately, the Indians didn’t go berserk with the new drink. It wasn’t until the arrival of the Europeans and the invention of the automobile that drinking beer became a threat. That’s when the bond between man and birds started to fade. But the real crash of their friendship came really late in life.

           One day there was this little bird who was trying to fly but always fell to the ground in his attempts. The little bird stood on a branch, started flapping its wings and leaped from the branch into the air. But as soon as the bird leaped from the branch, he fell to the ground as suspected. However, at the same time that the little bird fell to the ground, there was a man who was drinking and driving. The drunken man saw the little bird and thought it would be fun to run over the little bird and so he did. By that time there were some birds to witness this tragic event and went on spreading the news.

           As word got around, many birds were shocked to hear of this cruel act and vowed revenge on the man who crushed the innocent bird. There was one problem to this revenge though. No one knew who had actually crushed the little bird so there could be no vengeance. Just as the birds were about to give up hope, a mysterious bird appeared and told the other birds, “To avenge your fellow bird, poop anywhere whenever you feel like going.” One bird found this act crass. The other birds found this concept very creative and felt that this was the perfect way for getting back at the humans for their invention of the automobile and beer.

           Even ‘til this day, birds still poop on cars and sometimes on people, too. This act is to avenge the death of their fellow bird that was murdered by a drunken man.